Make Your Own Choices

This is going to be a self-proclaimed "Diana-letter" as Brendan calls my weird confession/apology notes.



Pick your friends.

We only have so much time in this world. And I have been doing so much thinking about what I value in people, in friends, in contacts and in general. You know what I have realized? You need to get out there. Go put yourself in as many situations as possible where no one knows anybody else and you all want to meet each other. You meet really interesting people that way, and while they might not be your friends for life or even for more than a day, you will probably learn something cool. Go out with your friends and have fun. Dont care about what other people think of your dance skills. Your friends shouldnt care. And if they do...why are you friends? Most important of all: pick your friends. Some people will love you...for now. And some people will love you for life. Will you really be happy with yourself if you are friends with everyone, but you dont have someone to turn to, who can help you fight your battles? Make it real. Make it a friendship that has life in it and be honest with each other and yourself. A wise friend told me that yes, people drift apart. So dont strain yourself trying to piece things together once they are over. And things will sometimes end, even when you dont want them to be.

So things to keep in Mind
1. if your friend isnt putting in the same amount of effort, rethink your approach. Can you talk about it with them? Or maybe you are drifting apart and its time to find something better suited to you.

2. is one side leaning more heavily on the other? Friendships need some balance to work out. Its good to be the friend who takes care of the other, but dont let yourself be taken advantage of. You are a great person. And you deserve someone who appriciates that.

3. Is your friend happy to be with you and respect you? Do they need invite other people along, interrupt your time together and ditch you for other people? Thats not cool. A friend needs to make time for you, and respect you the way you respect them. If you need to have a conversation with them, you should be able to say so. Again, this doesnt necessarily need to be true ALL the time, but good friends are there to listen, without worrying about which guys/girls are watching and where else they could be at the time.

4. Friends should not be like waves. They shouldnt call on you when they need something and not at the other times. You should BOTH have some say in when you are together, rather then expecting the other person to constantly adapt to whatever you decide you need. Be fair. Friendships are important, but its also important to make time and respect the other person.


Pick your Fights.

Being honest is really important, but if it doesnt matter to you, why pick a fight about it? I know more and more lately I have found patience to swallow my arguments because I know I am not going to be around many of these people much longer. Spread the love guys. And I do not mean that in a sexual way. Listening is a great way to do things. Drama is not. Why fight so much? Especially if its not something that really bothers you. And if it is, dont drag everyone else in to it. Talk to the person who is bothering you and work it out. I'm not saying this works all the time (we are ALL prone to drama scenes) but try it. Please.


Pick Your Good Times
Hey Brendan, over there in Notre Dame, have some fun. Make your space your own before people get there. We will all miss you, but there are people who have yet to experience you as a friend and neighbor. Go talk to random people and do something weird like we do when we are at home. Teach people chinese phrases to share with you when you appear in common rooms. Its fun stuff!

Pick Your Local Weirdos
Mool, Hookahs are gross. And rather hypocritical stuff-white-people-like-blog-entry-deserving devices. Stay away, they are no fun. but it sounds like other stuff at bard totally rocks. So I'm happy for you and your new found friendships and happy space. Cant wait to visit you.

Pick Your Gmail Chats
Hey Bex, I wish i was home this weekend to see you (but I am going to the Cape and then to Harvest so sadly cant), but gmail chatting with you while we were both working was fun. Can you please add me on Skype? In fact, EVERYONE NEEDS TO ADD ME ON SKYPE. cause I'm not good at using it but I'd love to chat soon :)

Pick Your Finnish People
Johannes leaves us tomorrow, and he will be missed. We (meaning Pookie, Jo and I) went out for Indian food in the kenmore square area and it was really really good. I mean YUMMMM. And now I feel way more relaxed because I have finished my Mexico proposal, I spent all day packing and I saw Spamm who has been away for far too long. And I now have a pretty Finnish vase for flowers in my future apartments. Brilliant!

Pick Your Roommates?
Sam I am so so sooo excited to hear about your super URBANNNN roommate. I am DYING for stories.

And Pick Your Meals
So Brunch on Thursday Morning with some crazy people in my life will be most excellent. I really cannot wait. Love you guys, sorry it took forever to work all this out.